Sunday, March 13, 2011

MARRIAGE - WHOEVER SAID IT WOULD BE EASY?

What has happened to our society? Why are we so intolerant of our mates? I heard last week that people no longer have a “7 year itch”, it is more like a“3 year itch” now.

I started thinking about all my friends and neighbors that are no longer married, or have gone through a few marriages already themselves. Why? When I start talking to my kids’ friends, almost every one of them come from a home of a single mom, mother living with a boyfriend, or maybe 1% of the time living with both parents.
What my brain sees from Margie’s Window

As I started looking around my own neighborhood I realized that we are the only house out of the immediate homes around us that are still married since we moved here three and a half years ago.

I found this article on the internet, thought I’d share it with you.

Seven-year itch now down to three years: Why?

Posted by David W Freeman

Weight gain by a partner, lack of money, snoring, and overexposure to the in-laws are top passion-killers, the Daily Mail reported. Did someone say lack of racy underwear? That's another biggie, along with toenail clippings left on the bathroom floor.

What explains couples' lack of tolerance?

"Longer working hours combined with money worries are clearly taking their toll on modern relationships and we are seeing an increasing trend for solo holidays and weekends away from marriages and relationships in order to revive the romantic spark," Judi James, the pollster who oversaw the survey, told Reuters.

The survey of 2,000 adults in steady relationships - commissioned by Warner Brothers to promote the release of its new comedy, "Hall Pass" - showed that couples spend less time in the bedroom as they become more annoyed with each other. Fifty-two percent of couples in new relationships reported having sex at least three times a week, as compared to 16 percent of those whose relationships were at least three years old, according to Reuters.

Couples seem to compensate by spending more time alone and taking separate vacations, according to Reuters.

What can couples do to keep the home fires burning? Recognize that love is tough, and that it's perfectly normal to think about straying as relationships evolve. That's the word from Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, the authors of "Building a Love that Lasts" and bloggers for Psychology Today. But the Schmitz's simplest observation may be the best piece of advice for couples. (end of article)

I don’t expect women to stay with someone who is abusive or anything. But, after 23 years of marriage I think I know how hard it can be. Anyone who knows me knows that. Love is not easy, marriage isn’t easy. I was widowed at 26, stayed single for five years before remarrying. Life is what you put into it. My husband and I look forward to growing old together, losing our hair, getting wrinkles. Yes, our bodies are not the same. And personally thong underwear rubbing in my crack is not sexy! Maybe it is all those damn sexy underwear rubbing us raw, causing the ITCH.

19 comments:

  1. Loved this post!!! I'm shocked also how easy it is to "trade-in" spouses these days. Very sad, but true. As for the butt-floss underwear, I'll leave those alone!! If Dave wants them he'll have to wear them and have the itch:)

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  2. We had a discussion about marriage in our congregation today. So much is put into the wedding day these days, but not enough into the marriage. Everything you mentioned is a big factor, also wandering eyes, too much time spent on the Internet versus attention to our mate, etc. My husband and I figure we are in it for the long haul because we made our commitment and we're sticking to it, working out what we need to work out as life throws things at us. The examples of our parents and grandparents are big helps, but we are all our own couples and have to make it work for our own relationships. Divorce is a reality, but sometimes perhaps too hastily chosen? I don't know.

    A widow at 26? I can't even imagine. I'm glad in time you were able to find someone with whom to spend the rest of your lives!

    I've enjoyed your topic obviously :D

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  3. Really enjoyed this post. Yes, there aren't many of us left with 'staying power' any more. A lot of my friends divorced and are on husband/wife number three or four.
    It's not easy to stay together especially as we all constantly change as we get older.
    I'm glad you've found someone to share your life with again. it can't have been easy to lose someone you love so early in your young life.
    I wish you continued happiness and Hubby and I will give you a 'zimmer frame' race in a few years time :)

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  4. Such a good post and so, so true!

    After 40 years of marriage, it still "ain't easy" let me tell you, then again, I've never been so delusional to think it ever was going to be a piece of cake. So many changes as we progress through the years once that honeymoon portion of married life scoots by.

    As you grow older together, sometimes there are moments when you question each other's sanity but the times where you can laugh about nothing at all are the ones that really count.

    I think we all agree on the thong underwear thingy..couldn't possibly offer anything positive about owning or wearing them.

    Blessings to you and your hubby for many years of love and happiness.

    Patty

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  5. I am following you (suelee1998) from the blog hop, you have a great site. Would you please follow me back? http://susansdisneyfamily.blogspot.com/
    thank you :)

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  6. Great post! So true about marriages today. I'm following you from the blog hop and hope you will follow me back. KY Klips Blog

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  7. I saw that article on my Yahoo, too. It used to be the 7 yr itch--the 20 yr ditch. Widowed at 26? Very tough. I'm thankful my hub and I both come from traditional parents who were married over 50 years. After outliving 2 husbands, my mother still married again at the age of 80. We've been married 32 years and still learned something from a very interesting no-nonsense, easy to understand book: The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
    I would hate to be single in today's world of dating -- wouldn't even know how to act.

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  8. How interesting, you know, before me, my wonderful hubby was never in a relationship for longer than two years... hmmmm. BTW I am following you from the week blog hop on The Adventures of My Family of 8, would love for you to check out my blog as well...
    http://www.adventuresofmyfamilyof8.blogspot.com/

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  9. loved your post!!!!!
    !
    happy day!
    Rosa

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  10. Your Newest Follower via the All Week Blog Hop


    Great post I know that when I got married I believed that I would never get divorced because I was raised that divorce is unacceptable. So I tried to stay and work it out even after he cheated and had a baby with another woman but one day I looked in mirror and said I am worth more than this and I left. My divorce was the best thing that happened to that relationship but I still believe that marriage is forever.

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  11. "Life is like riding a bike, in order to keep your balance you gotta keep moving!"
    this was so beautiful and peaceful and made me happy for you.
    Wedding Dress
    This site is a can refer to the choice of browser may help you see
    Welcome back. Wonderful photos, wonderful story. So glad you could be there.

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  12. What a wonderful post. It is tough being married, a lot of work, I've been married going on 33 yrs, and I can say this past year has been the toughest that we have had... But we are going 1 day at a time... i'm following you from the allweek blog hop

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  13. Sometimes it seems like people feel like they need to take the next step in their relationship even if they maybe aren't completely sure that their significant other is "the one." It's like they feel it's expected of them, so why not?

    I definitely agree that marriage is hard work, I sure hope that 3-year itch doesn't get any shorter!

    Thanks so much for joining us for Friendly Friday, have a great weekend!

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  14. I'm following from Social Parade on Friday and wanted to say "HI". If you get a chance stop by and say "HI" at http://www.wedemeyerfamily.blogspot.com/

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  15. Hello,
    Following you from the hop, please stop by say hi and follow me at Areyouamom.com
    Thanks,
    Maureen

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  16. I love this post! Oh my it is not easy ~but I love it! I am very fortunate to be in a relationship where both people have a commitment no to quit!!! We have are ups & downs some more extreme than others ~thank goodness most days we just flow and fewer days like today when the way he chews his food gets on my nerves...but that too is okay. In the end we both have the same want ~each other. I think we understand that life happens, moods change and we know each others expectations...

    Your comment in the last paragraph caused me to laugh out loud....

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  17. Thank you for this wonderful post and for sharing that article.

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  18. Great post! You said it well. Marriage in NOT easy and it´s a commitment we have to make.

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  19. Sometimes people do make the wrong choice in a mater. Sometimes you are like oil and water and never should have married in the first place. Sometimes someone is too immature and wasn't prepared to give up the single life. Yes, marriage is hard work but it takes TWO to do the work and sometimes there is only one person working on it. That is exhausting. There are many reasons for divorce and hopefully we don't judge too harshly those that make that decision based on the few that make it too lightly.

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